The first wedding we were invited to the ceremony and a lunch reception as we would call it in the US, it was in a big event hall space and had many tables, chairs, and a stage. The food was all cooked and brought in although it wasn't really a restaurant. Upon arriving the bride and groom were taking photos in front of a large area set up for this, they take a photo with everyone who attends the wedding. Surrounding the entrance and this area are photos of the couple. They tend to rent the dress and tux in order to take photos prior to the wedding, then on the wedding day the dress is a different one for the bride. So we got our photos taken, handed off the red envelope with our gift of money and then went to take out seats. Walking in we realized we were way over dressed, everyone comes in very casual clothes to the wedding, only the bride, groom and parents are really dressed up.
Prior to this day a legal document has already been signed and filed with the government so technically they would already be married. There is a ceremony where the mother and father hand off their daughter to her groom and say their goodbye's similar to our traditions. Next there are some words exchanged and rings by the bride and groom, still no kiss, then there was a sand ceremony and then many candles lit, i am not sure the significance of all the candles, as you can imagine everything was in Chinese. After all this, there was a kiss. Then the bride and groom were off to go change clothing. While they were gone, food was served, cigarettes were offered to the tables and games began. In the middle of the table are beverages, bottles of wine, liquor and soda, no bar. The food is served cold dishes first, then hot dishes, soup and rice. We were each given a box that was filled with treats given as a thank you for attending the wedding. There were a few bridesmaids, and a best man, the groom presented the bouquet to his bride upon taking her from her father. There was no champagne toast, and no wedding cake, no dancing, no bouquet toss, no garter toss. The games mostly mean for the kids, there were some funny games for the single men and women to play on stage where they had to complete as couples. People were smoking inside, boxes of cigarettes were placed on each table. Then there were lucky money envelopes, you pay 10 rmb to play and you either get 10rmb or more in your envelope you choose. Brian played and broke even. Then the bride and groom returned, she was in a sparkly red dress this time, and they went around to each table to talk to guests. It was a very nice wedding, interesting to try and understand what was going on while they were talking but in the end you could tell it was a ceremony of two people who loved each other and the joining of two families.
The second wedding was for a guy that Brian has become friends with and he asked Brian to come and be a part of the entire process for the wedding, this would involve some interesting traditions....Brian and Blake went to the house of the groom and he and all his friends drove to the bride's parents house where she lives in cars decorated with pink and red bows. Upon arriving to the house there is someone guarding the door to the building, and to the apartment and to her bedroom where she awaits. The groom and his friends have to convince the person on the other side to open the door for him and let him in, this can involve talking, bribery, or in the end force. The groom had to answer many questions about their relationship in order to try and convince the guard to open the door. Brian said that in the end they slid money under the door and the person grabbed it so the friends could push the door open. Once inside the bride is sitting on the bed and Blake had to remove a certain number of eggs from a pillow case, he got some lucky money for doing this. Then there were some more fun games to be played, next the groom has to find her shoes, (they were tied with strong to the frame of the bed), he then puts them on the bride and can take her from the room. At this point there is a tea ceremony with her parents, then they drive back to the groom's house and there is a tea ceremony with his parents.
For the next part of the wedding, the ceremony and reception Brian and I both attended. This was was held at a nice hotel in the ballroom, we walked up to a setup for photos again and a nice table with photos of the couple taken in wedding attire previously. The room was set up very similar to an American wedding with the tables decorated, a stage was set up, flowers on each table, favors on each table to take home, but still the beverages were in the center of the table, lots of food came, same as the other wedding in cold dishes, the hot, then soup, then rice. No wedding cake once again.
The bride's father escorted her through the room and up to the stage, giving her away to her groom. There was an exchange of words from them and then the groom got down on one knee and gave the bride her bouquet. They walked forward and had their ceremony. The parents were all called up on stage and the joining of the families was introduced. The bride and groom then disappeared to change clothes for the bride, she returned in a nice red dress. Two friends came to the stage to sing a song. There was a karaoke game played where you had to know the words to the song to win a prize. There were a few games played, a rice cooker was given out to the first person to call a certain number on the phone. There were some games for the children too. The bride and groom and their parents went around to each table with very small wine glasses and they did a toast with each table and drank wine with us all. The food was pretty normal Chinese food, the soups were very strange, we were served a pot of chicken soup with an entire chicken in it, head and all, then turtle soup, the entire turtle with the neck broken was served to our table, Brian tried a piece and said it tasted like fish. After the games were played the wedding was over, about two hours total time and then home we went.
It was really interesting to see how a wedding is in a different culture, and to see the difference between two weddings. So you can smoke at a Chinese wedding, there is always a change of clothes for the bride to red, lots of food, and you invite everyone you know, both weddings were huge! One guy I met said the bride's father was his school teacher 30 years ago and he was invited!
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